I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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