my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
