Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
