i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
