My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
