my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
