I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
