So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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