My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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