just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You did what with his pubic hair?
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