last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Mom said you looked used
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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