I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
