This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
