The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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