can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
