3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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