i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
