I smell stomach acid.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
