after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I need to calm my uterus...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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