I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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