I'm so fucking centered right now
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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