hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
