He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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