if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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