I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
