he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
