Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Alive.
So much puke
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
