what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Randomize
