it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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