Welp...herpes.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
