where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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