I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Do vagina's smell?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
