You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
