she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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