If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
