If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
