Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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