Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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