I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
