apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
