we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
