Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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