Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
