if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
