Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
