Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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