good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
