There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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