I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
