We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
