so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
