I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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