She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
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we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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