Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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