He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
