i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
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dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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