you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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