fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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