my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
