If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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