his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
