This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize