She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
