this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize