that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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