I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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